Story Idea: DJunky

a hiphop dj does a bunch of pills and gets into house music. the drugs start to ruin his life as he gets addicted to them. he tries to quit but can't stand house music without the drugs. the whole story parallels genres and different drugs. in the end, the recovering protagonist pioneers a new genre of music called Re-house.

Puilt Trip

Nicola invents the SCCC (Slipper Chucking into Canal Competition). If the rest of the world catches on to this, I feel sorry for Thrift Store shoppers everywhere (self included). saturday night witnessed democracy in action. we took a closed ballot vote whether to go out dancing or be good. it was a bit hard but in two short hours i rallied a landslide majority and we hit the town. 3 clubs, 2 pools, and a trip to the earthquake ravaged suburbs later, we managed to spoon feed ourselves soup and invent the Clubbers Motel, which is just a 24-hour pass to the local Nursing Home.

went to a beautiful waterfall on saturday just to prove to myself that i'm not a city slicker. despite the zen vibe of this sanctuary, i spent most of the time devising the perfect party event. a generator could harness energy from the water current. a dj booth could easily fit on one of the huge boulder islands in the middle of the river. tiki torches dotted along the cavernous walls. clubbers out of their heads falling and drowning...ok, maybe not the perfect party.

spent a night in TaiNantucket (props D) to visit the Kuhel Skuhel. we ventured into a large night market looking for fake Adidas shirts but ended up tea bagging instead. as promised, Tainan is a lot like Taichung was 10 years ago. traffic was more chaotic, being a foreigner granted instant fame, and i couldn't find anything i liked to eat.

Taipei 101...and we got so high

you know it's a good night when you start with 4 new shoes. we went up to the "bay area" for a great night of electro. Jazzy Jeff rocked (backwards slant) the hiphop stage. Declan rocked (no slant) the Cut 'N Blo party all night. nicola and I finally learned the virtue of a love motel, allowing us the perfect segue to make it to Taipei 101 completely fubled. nicola confirmed my suspicions that she is a russian spy, adding yet another layer to my trashed chicks fetish.

Quotes:
Bob: Don't talk to Matty-D. He's gay.
Chinese Guy (all smiles): My friend gay too!

meegs and nicola
nicola's new apartment puts me back in the whitey ghetto (props Snowy). it's nice to run into people randomly. it's probably the coolest thing about taichung. i worked 2 mornings this week at the kindy and now understand why nicola loves sleep more than me.

Coffee Table Book Idea: Spiders on Drugs

this is just Charlotte on coffee, check out what she spins on LSD

The Best Answer to Why Taiwan

THE OM-LYPICS

Remix different sports. (e.g. Pennis is just tennis played with ping pong paddles.)

Ping Pong meets Table Tennis: Pennis
Nascar meets Indianapolis 500: Nasdy
Bowling meets 3-Legged Race: Bowlegged
Ballroom Dancing meets Weightlifting: Balllifting
Speedball meets Inline Skating: Speeding In Line
Golf meets Do-it-yourself African Truck Safari: Golfuckyourself

License To Spill

After being assaulted by a garrulous acquaintance (again) I've decided that there's just no more time for Mr. Niceguy. But that's just it. Why should I be the bad guy? Isn't it more rude to talk incessantly than to point it out? No. That's why we need a license to talk. Everybody would get tested every year. It's a nice way of telling someone that their stories are too long (even if they were interesting). You don't have to feel embarassed pointing out someone's visual senescence. So why should we feel bad about S.L.O.P.S.?

The Trouble With Schizophrenia

two worlds collide... Glam vs. Jam. usually when i change personalities, i'm too self-absorbed to care who i've left behind. unfortunately i'm still in a party phase, so i can't just shrug off old friends as alcoholics because i'm still one myself. but this alcoholism isn't compatible with gutters, dives, or slops.

A(men)DSL

loving the july heat, especially with the sidewalk pyres. the toxic paper burning is probably the best irony i've ever witnessed. the idea is to burn paper money for transferring wealth from one life to another. the ironic part is that the toxic fumes withdraw life from present/future generations in order to debit ghosts of the past. the chinese don't see the irony at all. neither would a medieval European. 48% of Americans believe in ghosts -- more if you count the Holy Ghost. this is all very disturbing. but at least christians have a high bandwidth transfer protocol. you can pray without the nasty carbon monoxide by-products. i find this phantasmaphilia all very laughable -- wait, i'm living in asia, contracting lung cancer. all for Fu Manchu's personal checking account. wonder if that's deductible?

Backwards Land

who goes to a coffee shop to sleep?

2 minute movie lasts 2 hours

nicola and i were determined to do the couple thing. after talking ourselves out of Tigercity we decided to buy a dvd player, rent a movie, and be normal. we've only been to one movie (Mission Impossible 3) but we walked out of the theater long before the closing credits. the Dukes proved to be just as Hazzardous (haha, aren't I cute). we didn't even make it through the opening credits. it took over 2 hours to get the suicidal TV to stay on, to translate the speaker wires, and find the right batteries. i'm never doubting myself again. TV sucks.
"This room looks like a bloody house of mirrors."-Nicola, stoned, in reference to the sprawling wires.

Invention: Ashtray Robot

The robot has a smoke detector on it so it can move to the smokers. It's mouth could house an optional chewing gum dispenser.

Party Monster

"It takes endurance to be an alcoholic." JK

la Dinner

Anna: I think the terrorists are going to strike Melbourne next. They're trying to spread fear. And it's working. Anyway, I saw these hot shoes in Taichung Central. They don't fit me, but somebody must buy them.

Erica: High school is like a microcosmic model of everything.

dylan arrived into taichung just in time for drinkfest 2006. i was accused of being a new-ager, but prefer nicola's ibizan record producer moniker. after a great night of live music and dead beer, we just couldn't resist the sirens of a taiwanese breakfast shop. fortunately, dylan wanted to krop and i got a pic of the soy sauce aisle at RT-Mart.

Mary Mary, Why You Buggin?

it seems a little perverted that i spend so much time on the phone in front of my friends. most of the time we just update our phonebooks and maybe take a picture of each other. then we go another 12 months without seeing each other and wonder when we got so fucking old. mike said it best. when you get old, you measure the spaces between friends in years.

In Conclusion...

Barter Economy

Liza and Henke cold chillin. being in a relationship is making me view the world differently. for instance, instead of looking for a high concentration of chicks to scam, i look for someplace with good music or food. or lighting. or smells. (ok, i'll take anything, just as long as one of the senses gets a brief reprieve from the polymorphous assault of Taiwan's sketchy asthetics). watching dog owners, i now see that there are many ways to look at the world. for them the currency is dog-watching and it's measured in days. if only i had that japanese monkey that was trained to walk dogs.

Hyperhyperlink

Blog where every word is

a hyperlink.

Gay Pool

whilst getting skin cancer, one might as well get some HIV as well. here's ryan and declan kicking it at the gay pool. despite all appearances (all men, all speedos) the gay pool doesn't really live up to its name. just having a homosexual majority doesn't qualify you for the gay moniker. you don't see gay churches, do you? gay bars? gay marriages? ten percent of the population is gay and that is a little more than a minority. imagine banning indian marriages (less than 1% of the population). we just stole their land and killed them wholesale with malaria-laced blankets. but at least we let them marry.

Pool

mmm...melanoma. unfortunately i read an article last year on the dangers of sunscreen (!) and decided to not wear any. the article says that we know how to treat melanoma but not the new cancers that are caused by chemicals in the lotions. extra-unfortunately, i can't find that article and all others refute it! a little knowledge is a dangerous thing!http://www.berkeleywellness.com/html/wl/2006/wlFeatured0606.html
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/3142386.stm

Invention: Untangled Wires

Think of a lump of playdough that is extremely malleable. There's got to be a polymer out there that conducts electricity and can be stretched across the room. If the wires cross, you can just smoosh them together and pull a long wire out of the clump. No more tangles.

Uncommon Sense

A short story or stageplay about old thinkers and their world views. For instance, Plato believed in ghosts, Descartes believed the soul resided in the pineal gland, and every supposed author of the bible believed in ghosts and flatworlds. Surely the ignorance of past thinkers eclipses their insights. This could shed light on their influence over modern people. Hopefully all religious dogma will appear absurd in the face of what their proponents also adhered to. Remember that the framers of the constitution would be seen as terrorists today; Plato would be arrested for pedophilia; and George Washington, despite his magnanimous honesty, would probably be executed for human trafficking.

Streetwalkers

So loving Nicola's new apartment. We've instituted the walking to dinner rule. Dinner was nice. Americans are a dwindling breed in Taiwan, but luckily we're cantankerous enough that it still seems like there's a bunch of us. Mathew and I stumbled upon the mime meme. Basically, you hire a bunch of mimes to re-enact famous battle scenes.

Waiter: The special tonight is really good...but I don't like it.

Americans Still Loud, Obnoxious

Know Your Highness

Watch the Simpsons at night and then the next day go to http://www.lardlad.com/ and check the trivia to see if you got all the inside jokes. I've discovered that my highness is in direct proportion to my crossword abilities, but inverse proportion to satiric literary allusions.

48-hour Deodorant/Bender

matty-D watching world cup friday







dj Kriz

*future collector's trivia:
this is her first non-house set



irish kevin...
k-hole
nicola decides to move house spur-of-the-moment...accepts my k-hole excuse...i'm allowed to smoke pot and drink beer whilst she does all the work...i think i'm definitely in love now


liza and a texan lover
dj Declan (notice sat.world cup)
welsh John
Kabous (40 percenter)
nice afterparty poolside

sloppy...high...brain and camera malfunctioning.

Quotes:

Irish Kevin: Peacocks go ekking. (a peacock is a guy pretending to be queer so he can pick up girls easier, after they've initially let their guard down and opened up).
Kevin's brother: Reality! God! (in reference to his first k-hole)
Nicola: I think I can move house between 2 dj gigs, saturday morning work, and taking care of your cabbaged arse. What time is it?
Welsh John: Oooo, how I love bums and boobies. I just want to squeeze them so. (in reference to women in general).
Kabous: My parents thought I was gay. (in reference to him wearing women's clothing and makeup).