Post-neo-de-constructionism

Nicola has had her eyes on this store for ages now. It was free standing, 2 floors, and had lots of potential. I was driving by the other day, when, fortunately the wheel came off my scooter, so I had time to take a picture of the deconstruction.

Two out of Three Ain't Bad

After considering a Trans Fat Restaurant Ban Americans seem upbeat and positive in lieu of a dramatic failure rate in the United States' national crusade to keep its populace fat, lazy, and stupid. In light of the country's severe educational crises, including the current Intelligent Design fiasco, 66% is par for the corpse.

Why Our Children of the Future Might Not Visit Us With Their Time Machines

Just read Vilenkin's interesting article on The Principle of Mediocrity. I like his work on Ed Tryon's ex nihilo nihil fit (nothing comes from nothing) argument for the spontaneous creation of life, the universe, and everything. Now he goes on to talk about parallel universes and island universes. I'd always wondered why people from the future didn't come fuck with our heads. Surely all of us would pull some Back to the Future moves on our ancestors if we could. Vilenkin is saying that there are so many identical universes, we're practically 100 % safe from any future flux-capacitating skaters wanting to find us -- what/who-ever that means.

Welcome Back Lewis

Louise (aka Lewis (aka That Fucking Bitch)) came back to a very same-same but different Taichung scene. She left in June and I remember wondering how my life would be different when she came back. We're all still here. Some fights, some gains, some losses later, we're all still here. Laughing and crying and bitching and getting trashed. This is my life. Props to Carolyn for finding the Yellow Rose of Texas discarded on the dance floor. Thanks to Djs Declan and Gareth Jones for packing CU with swank music. We ended up at a postmodern opium den afterparty.

Quotes:

John: I'm just waiting for this to turn into a porno.

Lewis: What's with all the pink? What happened to electric avacado?

Matty-D: I guess the buttfucking offended them [gangsters].

Nicola: All those drugs, but no props?!

Carolyn: I woke up on the floor, speaking Russian to the dog.

Oh, so that's why ...

things have been less than smooth since trying to quit weed, but i do notice my writing improvement quickly so as to increasing. we randomly ran into Chauncolyn at Bollywood. i like the sexy poster above chauncey, showing some neck. mmm...hot stuff! it's funny how tolerable the world is sober. the lights always seemed so bright, the AC so cold, the adjoining tables so annoying. i'm finding it a lot easier to deal with the world without the handicap of hyper-sensitivity. wait. no i'm not. the world's just as fucked-up. i'm just not high.

This is not Spinal Tap

good sat. night with lots of the gang making appearances. highlights included liza's slipper toss out of nicola's window, an ironic taiwanese dancer who got kicked off the dancefloor even though he was the only one ballsy enough to dance, a nice addition to SLOP COPS, and the need for 2 new codewords: lesbians are now called "midgets" and short guys are called lesbians. (eg. I always thought she might be a midget.)

89 Y

Stinki Tofu

i don't know what's more disturbing, the actual phenomenon of Stinky Tofu, or the way its made. something about food preparation and sewage drains doesn't leave a good taste in your mouth. couple that with the toxic air pollution and maybe we have a decent reason to baste the food in putrid oils to cover the carbon monoxide flavoring of the roadside dessication process. i think Yanni loves Stinki Tofu.

Yannicide

it would be regrettably hilarious if there were some real wife-beating new-agers out there. from the looks of the super-hyper-morbidly-obese housewife fan base of the last Yanni concert, i'd bet their days are numbered. in the U.S. alone there were over 12,032 cases of wives killing their husbands: 1) by knife 2) by smothering their husbands to death.

Blanni

somebody should be Blondie + Yanni for Halloween.

S.L.O.P.S.

Sharing lengthy overdetailed personal stories suits lonely overaged people. Still, surprisingly, lots of poor souls settling little oriental places share some lack of people skills; some lack of proper social skills. Loads of people say: studying languages offers perspective; sojourning somewhere like Okinawa provides stimulation; seeing lots of pre-medieval social systems lends one perspective; serious students learn oriental philosophies; start studying Lao-tzu or perhaps Shogunate sages; Laos offers pleasant spiritual solitude like ...

Only people saying such loads of pure shit still live on patriot soil. Such liars often prove sedentary, seldom living other places. Stupider still, lots of pseudo-intellects start spreading libraries of propaganda saying shit like oriental places serve scrumptuous lunches! Oriental places serve sauteed lopped off pig snout; steamed lizard on poached skunk; shark liver over pureed seaweed stems; lollipops of parched squid; skewered lengths of pheasant scrotum; steaming ladels of putrid soups; sticky lumps of pinkish seafood...

Sinese lack opulent palates since lacking oxygen produces serious senescence, leaving one phantosmia. Scientists studied lots of parameters surrounding Sino lands. "Outrageous pollution spans skies," lectures one Ph.D specialist. "Skies lacking oxygen produce serious senescence leaving olfactory performance stupid, slow, lethargic, or poorly stimulated." So lacking oxygen pacifies sickening scents, letting oriental people savor spaniels, labradors, or poodle strudel.

Racist Scholarly Work Title: Facade

an anthropological paper investigating the relationships of hygiene, education, and architecture in post-industrial Chinese culture with respect to the value of appearances and short-term cost benefits. (ie. why people rinse without soap, test without retention, and build short-term chintzy stores)

Invention: Zeustooth

this might be one for the darwin awards but how about a wireless way to charge your gadgets? Bluetooth meets Zeus = Zeustooth. picture a little box that you plug into an outlet. it transmits energy to receivers in your gadgets using microwave radiation or perhaps some other non-lethal mechanism. (*possible problems include electrocution and base grounding)

Christianity & the Art of Unicycle Maintenance

ok it maybe a stupid pun but there are valid features of this piss-take. christianity has been shirking maintenance in the face of direct scientific refutation for the past 500 years. how hard is a unicycle to keep running anyways? and isn't the awkward motion of a unicycle really symbolic of the teetering trajectory of the church recently?

great night of hedonism beginning with one single constraint: where have air conditioner? despite phrasing it in our best chinglish, even the love motels wouldn't let us in (couples only). we entertained ourselves past the point of caring about the heat and even had a bit of a bender ending in an improvisational One Act play at the new amphitheater behind soundgarden. theater is so less annoying when you are the one onstage. then we made it to the gay pool only to be assaulted by Matt (now occupying the infamous #1 most annoying person spot).

Retard Pills

S.I.P.S.

nicola gave me a great compliment saturday, accusing me of SIPS (seriously interesting perspective syndrome) as opposed to SLOPS. outside her house i randomly found this sticker on a car. normally this would be way too much of a coincidence for me to handle. evidence of an order to the universe, a god, or perhaps a coma-induced hallucination. but thanks to nihilism, i know life is just as meaningless as ever.

ok sorry for the lack of pix. i've been living the hedonistic life of an expat but i lost the cable that transfers pix from phone to PC. then Nicola informed me about bluetooth. i feel like a total failure as a male figure in this relationship. SUCCESS!